


Holding Out

by sunshineflying



Series: tshaw and evie [3]
Category: BBC Radio 1 RPF, One Direction (Band)
Genre: Kid Fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-02
Updated: 2015-09-02
Packaged: 2018-04-18 17:54:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,983
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4715093
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sunshineflying/pseuds/sunshineflying
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Installment three in my Tomlinshaw KidFic Verse (read And Something More & Don't You Worry first).</p><p>After the rift between Louis and Nick creeps its way onto the X-Factor, where they're both judges, the people around them take it upon themselves to try to fix their broken relationship. With the help of two-year-old Evie Tomlinson, who desperately wants her father to get back together with Nick so she can see him more, Liam gives Louis the push he needs to confront Nick - hoping it will all turn out okay in the end.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Holding Out

**Author's Note:**

> I cannot thank Jen enough for always being so willing to help me with ideas, beta-ing, and Britpicking. Thank you, dear!
> 
> Thank you for reading, and YES I have more of this verse coming to you as soon as school will allow!

Louis likes to believe that he always does right by his daughter. Being a single father isn’t like being a big brother. There’s so much more pressure, so much more worry than he ever thought he’d be able to contain in his body.

He never wants to see Evie hurting, is the thing.

Now that she’s well into her terrible twos, though, she’s a demon on legs – another lovely trait she’s inherited from her father – and naturally, the one he’s least fond of. It’s caused three nannies to quit and he’s ended up begging Liam to come in to help watch her whilst he finds a new nanny and finishes up the taping of his second season of the X-Factor.

And speaking of, that whole thing isn’t going so well.

The show has taken to scripting every interaction between Louis and Nick because they stopped talking so suddenly. Everyone on the set noticed when something changed – a chemistry they didn’t fully acknowledge was now just gone. Nick did his best to hide how hurt he was, but he’s a radio DJ for a reason - acting isn’t always his forte. Louis didn’t do so well at hiding what had happened, either. He’d turned bitter and rude and it made for terrible TV.

It’s nearly the final now, and Nick has worked hard mentoring the last person from his team that he’s got left, and he’s never felt so stressed. The only perk of being so stressed is that he hasn’t got the time to think about Louis, to wonder how Evie is doing after all these abrupt changes in her life.

On their last day of filming before the weekend – only a half-day for which Nick is totally grateful – he’s lounging around when he hears a distinct voice that feels like sunshine for his soul. 

It’s Evie, and she’s very loudly scolding her father for something. “No daddy no!” she shouts, and Nick looks up to see her writhing against Liam and trying to break away.

“You can’t run around here, love,” Louis says, clearly trying to placate her. “Go back with Uncle Leemo to the green room, yeah? Go play there and daddy will be back soon.”

“No no no no no!” she screams.

Her voice is shrill and it makes Nick wince, the soundlike a sharp wave slicing right through his eardrum. Without even thinking, Nick stands so that he can go help – he hates hearing Evie upset.

“Grammy!” Evie shouts. Her whole face lights up and Louis looks livid.

Nick wants to be upset, to walk away for Louis’s sake, but she looks so _happy_ that he can’t help but smile. “Hello, poppet,” he smiles, leaning over as she breaks free of Liam’s grasp. She’s bolting toward him before either Liam or Louis can catch her.

“Miss you!” Evie says as Nick picks her up to give her a warm hug. He kneels down to catch her and _God_ , he thinks. _She’s gotten so big_.She buries her face in his chest and clings tightly to his shirt, wrinkling it beyond anything the costume department could fix. He doesn’t make her stop.

Liam gives Louis an apologetic look as they walk to Nick and Evie. “I’ve missed you too, darling,” Nick tells her, his voice soft and warm. He pats her ashy blonde hair and says, “You’re growing into such a beautiful young lady, you are.”

“I know,” she replies, and she couldn’t sound more like Louis if she tried.

Louis is right there now, reaching out for Evie, and Nick gives him a pleading look. He’s sure Louis is upset, but Nick was just being polite; it’s clear that Evie missed him. “C’mon love, time to get to the green room,” Louis says, reaching out for her.

“No!” she shouts. “I want Grammy!”

It’s hard for Nick, because he’s in a tough spot. He wants to be kind to Evie and show her that he hasn’t left, but Louis is her father. He makes the rules. “Be a good girl, love,” Nick coaxes gently. “Your dad says it’s time for the green room, alright?”

“I _miss_ you!” she wails into Nick’s shirt.

“Oh but Evie, poppet,” Nick tries to calm her. “I’ll bet you’ll have loads of fun with Liam in the green room!”

She starts to scream in protest as Nick and Louis try to separate her away to send her to the green room. Her sad, mournful tears are like a knife to Nick’s chest, twisting deeper with each sob. He wants so badly to hold her a little longer, to make the sadness go away, but this is Louis’s choice. Nick has to respect it.

“It’s alright, love,” Louis says as he holds her to his chest now.

Evie cries mournfully as Louis and Liam bring her to the green room, and Nick goes back to his chair. He didn’t realize how much he’d missed them until she’d been back in his arms and Louis had been right there in his orbit.

It’s worse, knowing he’s not allowed to have them, now. That Evie’s tantrum might be the last he ever sees of her.

He’s got his head buried in his hands, elbows on his knees, and he vaguely realizes that someone is rubbing his back. He never catches who it is because he’s got to sit up and be fussed at to get him ready for cameras again. Louis comes back and needs the same treatment, especially around the eyes, but Nick doesn’t look at him. He’s got to hold it together until taping is over.

Once they’re finished, Nick tries his best to get across the room to Louis, to talk to him and try to sort out what happened, but Louis is already gone.

\------

They’re at the wrap party when Nick next sees Louis – it’s weeks later and he hasn’t been able to get the sound of Evie, so sad and confused, out of his mind. When he’s not working he’s moping around his flat with Pig, drinking wine and wondering whether there’s any chance at all he can mend things with Louis.

He’s lingering by the wine, chatting with Cheryl, when someone comes up behind him and clears their throat rather violently. It sounds more like someone’s choking than someone’s trying to get his attention. Nick turns and sees Louis – Cheryl’s skeptical expression makes a little more sense, now.

“Can we talk?” Louis asks.

And part of Nick wants to say no. He doesn’t want to do this here, doesn’t want to hear what Louis has to say in the middle of what is supposed to be a celebration. But Cheryl’s right there and the entire cast and crew really wants them to make amends, so for their sake, Nick nods.

Not because he misses Louis (and Evie, by extension) with every fibre of his being.

He follows Louis across the immaculately decorated room, through the throngs of celebrating people to the back hallway of the venue. It’s still as dimly lit, but it’s quiet. They don’t have to shout to be heard over the music and the din of voices.

“Look,” Louis begins. He’s avoiding Nick’s eyes, deciding his hands are far more interesting. “Evie misses you. Clearly.”

Nick sighs. Of _course_ Louis is going to hide behind Evie. He wasn’t really expecting anything else, so he’s prepared for it. It doesn’t make his blood boil like it did when Louis first called it off with him.

“What about you?” Nick asks bluntly.

Louis looks up sharply, his eyes the coldest shade of blue Nick’s ever seen them. His eyes flash fear, then annoyance, and that’s when he answers. “This has got nothing to do with me.”

As he crosses his arms, Nick rolls his eyes and scoffs. “You’ve got to be kidding me,” Nick says. “Months later and you’re still in denial.”

“I’m not in denial about anything,” Louis snaps. “You saw the way Eves got when she saw you last. That’s what she’s like _nonstop_ : screaming and crying and saying no. She clearly wants to see you.”

“She’s in her terrible twos,” Nick replies simply. “It’s natural.”

There’s a flash of sadness in Louis’s eyes – Nick barely caught it, but it’s there – when he says, “She’s only ever asking after you, now. Not me.”

Nick softens at that, because how could he not? He cares for Louis just as much as he does for Evie. More, even, if he counts the romantic attachment he’s still got, as well. “She sees you all the time,” he offers, his voice not as harsh or defensive as it was before. “It’s natural for her to ask after people who aren’t you. She’s not meaning to insult you.”

“She likes you.”

Louis’s voice is soft now, defeated. Like he finally owns up to what’s been bothering him. “She seems to like lots of people,” Nick observes. “All the lads from the band, and your family, and the cast here, too.”

Louis sighs and stares at his feet. He’s barely loud enough for Nick to hear when he says, “She hates me.”

If it were any other situation, if Louis had said it any other way, Nick probably would have just laughed, because never in a million years would Evie hate her father. But Louis sounds broken, like he believes it, and Nick can’t stop himself from reaching out for Louis.

He pulls him tight to his chest, his large, warm hands stroking Louis’s back over the fancy blazer he’s got on. Louis shivers under the touch, his hands knotted in Nick’s patterned shirt as he buries his face in his chest. It feels so familiar, but so foreign now that they’ve been without it for nearly as long as they’d been together before.

“She doesn’t hate you, Louis,” Nick reassures him tenderly. “Even if she said it, she doesn’t mean it, because she’s two and doesn’t know what it means. I’ll bet you anything that when you get home tonight, she’s going to be thrilled to see you, like always, because she _adores_ you. She’s so much like you and maybe you can’t see it, but everyone else can see the way she idolizes you.”

Louis groans. “Stop being so nice. You’re supposed to hate me.”

With a heavy sigh, Nick says, “I’m upset with you, but that doesn’t mean I won’t help you. I still care about you, you know.”

That draws another groan out of Louis, and Nick’s not quite sure what this means or where the conversation is going. Louis doesn’t make any indications, choosing instead to keep his head turned, resting against Nick’s chest and listening to his heartbeat.

“Is that why you got rid of me?” Nick asks after a beat, scared to ask because he’s scared it’ll chase Louis away.

“Huh?” Louis mumbles.

“Did you break up with me because you thought Evie liked me more?”

Louis lands a weak punch to Nick’s abdomen and mutters, “Piss off.”

And Nick sighs, because that’s the closest answer to a _yes_ he’s ever going to get.

He loses track of time as he stands there, comfortable and warm, locked in his embrace with Louis. People are probably wondering where they’re at now, or starting to make assumptions, but Nick doesn’t have a care in the world because he’s actually having a civil interaction with Louis, and it feels sort of like progress.

They’re quiet for a long time before Louis breaks the silence, his voice soft and hesitant again. “I was scared,” he admits.

Nick knows, but he doesn’t say. He just nods, his chin bumping the top of Louis’s head, and says, “It’s alright.”

“It’s just…” Louis continues, and Nick sort of wants to cut him off. He doesn’t want Louis to feel like he has to explain himself. He’s got a lot on his mind and a lot to handle as far as Evie goes – and it’s all in the past, really. But a bigger part of him wants the explanation, so he stays quiet. “When we were talking about Briana and custody and all that… you told me it would be alright. You told me Evie would turn out okay because she has us.”

Nick’s breath catches and he’s not sure where this is going. Louis doesn’t sound accusatory, but there’s something he’s leaving out – something that Nick needs to hear, or else he’ll assume Louis is blaming him for the breakup and he doesn’t want to do that. He wants to believe that he wouldn’t.

“That scared me because it was like you’d already made this place for us in your life,” Louis says. “It took Briana a year and a half to realize there wasn’t a place for us in hers. But with you it was… well, it was practically overnight that you decided you _did_ want us.”

Nick relaxes and smiles. It all makes perfect sense to him now. “To be fair, I think it was _literally_ overnight. I dropped in on you two unannounced, remember?” he offers.

“Of course I remember,” Louis quips, but he’s not angry. “Your heat broke.” He sounds rather sentimental, actually. Nick likes the sound.

Nick rubs Louis’s back and glances down. “So are we good? D’you believe me that I’m not going anywhere?” he asks.

Louis looks up, and his eyes look warm again. Striking blue, but warm like the ocean and Nick thinks he’s lost in them forever. Louis doesn’t say anything at first, like he’s analyzing Nick, which just makes Nick smile. Even now, after everything, Louis is still being tediously careful.

Nick didn’t think he had it in him, but it’s probably best he’s that way with Evie. It makes him a stellar father, if Nick has anything to say on the matter.

“Why should I believe that you’re suddenly monogamous?” Louis challenges.

And _oh_ , Nick falters, though it’s actually a fair question. He’s grateful that he’s actually got a good answer for it.

He grins as he replies, “I’ve been sat around pining for you since that bloody date. _You_ , of all people. I think if I’m sitting around wanting you back for nigh on six months, that’s a pretty good sign, innit?”

Louis bursts out laughing and lets out a whoop of happiness before he cheers, “I made _Nick Grimshaw_ pine like a little schoolgirl!”

“Oh piss off,” Nick laughs, shoving playfully at Louis.

Louis stumbles, but the mirth never leaves his eyes. Nick joins in, and it’s comfortable again. He’s glad for it.

But before they go back to the party, Louis holds up his finger at Nick, in warning. “I’m not saying we have to get married right away because I’ve got enough on my plate, thank you very much, but you’re signing up for the long term. This affects Evie and I won’t have her hurt,” he says sternly.

Nick thinks it’s endearing, how much Louis wants to protect his daughter, and he’s impressed by it. Nick feels the same sort of thing for Evie, and that’s what clued him in when they’d first met, that this was meant to become his family. Happily, Nick wraps his arm around Louis’s waist and pulls him tight, their bodies flush together. “I promise, I’m not going anywhere,” he affirms, and he presses a little kiss to Louis’s lips.

And all that tension, all the worry and fatigue and emotional drain feels like it’s just gone from Nick’s shoulders. Louis looks as good and refreshed as Nick feels, and he knows this is good. That this is what’s meant to happen.

That he and Louis and Evie are going to be a little family together.

“I’m sorry for everything,” Louis says as he reaches down to link their hands.

They’re making their way back down the hallway and into the party, already choosing to come out as a couple before they’ve even really properly talked about it, but it feels right. It’s so natural Nick can’t imagine it happening any other way.

“Apology accepted,” he replies, bringing their hands to his mouth. He kisses the back of Louis’s hand and smiles over at him, waiting for Louis to smile back – albeit with a bit of an eye-roll – before they walk back into the party.

Nick doesn’t go home with Louis after the party even though they’d both very much like him to, because Louis has already promised Evie a night of cuddles, ice cream, and of course, Frozen. Instead, they agree that Louis and Evie are going to go to Nick’s for a nice dinner so they can tell her it’s all fixed, that they’re back together and she gets to see Nick more, just like she’s been asking.

When they arrive, Nick buzzes them up, and he can hear Evie before he actually sees her. Fast, excited footsteps pound down the hallway as she literally sprints to his door. “Grammy Grammy Grammy!” she’s chanting, because she recognizes where she is now.

Nick still can’t believe she’s got him so wrapped around her finger that he lets her call him grandmother. He’s a little bit gone for both Tomlinsons, if he’s being honest.

He steps away from dinner so he can open the door and poke his head out. She squeals with excitement and rushes to him, Louis walking calmly in her wake. He looks so satisfied, so happy, and Nick’s glad he gave Louis that feeling back.

Nick scoops Evie up in his arms and then reaches out for Louis, hugging them both at once. It feels like home, wrapped up in their arms. “C’mon in,” he says. “Dinner’s almost finished.”

Once they actually get through the door, they can smell the food that Nick’s been cooking. “I’ve chosen salmon and rice pilaf with some beans,” he says. “That alright?”

“She’ll eat anything,” Louis says, kneeling down to pet Pig where she’s come bounding into the room.

As soon as Evie sees her, she’s squirming to try to get out of Nick’s arms. He sets her down so she can pet, and Nick says to Louis, “I meant you, you menace. You’re so picky sometimes.”

Louis smirks as he stands up. “You’ll just have to wait and see, won’t you?” he teases. “If I like it, you’ll know, because I won’t be bothering you to make me something else.” He pokes Nick in the side for good measure.

Nick groans and says, “You’re going to be the death of me.”

They leave Evie to play with Pig whilst they go into the kitchen. Evie’s terrible at throwing, but Pig seems to be enjoying the game of fetch anyway. Louis rifles around in the fridge for a bottle of wine while Nick finishes their dinner, the salmon sizzling on the stovetop. They orbit each other in the space of his kitchen like they’ve done it a million times.

Louis pours them each a glass of some red wine and sets them on the table, as dinner’s nearly ready. Before he gets a cup of Ribena for Evie, he looks back at the food on the stove. “What’s this again?” Louis asks, craning over Nick’s arms to look into the bowl of rice.

“Rice pilaf,” Nick says. “Want to try?”

He scoops a spoon into the rice and offers a taste to Louis. He narrows his eyes, skeptical that he’s going to like this odd yellow rice thing that Nick’s made, but allows himself to be fed anyway. Nick watches Louis, wondering just what he’s going to say, because with Louis it could literally be anything.

Louis chews, swallows, and looks like he’s contemplating the best way to respond – or whether he likes the rice or not. Nick smacks his bum playfully and says, “Come on, say it. What do you think?”

Louis looks affronted, but snaps his lips closed and thinks for a moment before he says, “I didn’t know you could cook. Thought maybe you were a one trick pony and that we’d have to suffer through roast and potatoes for the rest of our lives.”

He’s joking and Nick knows it, so he laughs and Louis grins right next to him. Things are easier now that Louis has finally opened up to him; he let Nick into their little family and for that Nick feels incredibly lucky.

Louis carries the plates to the table as Nick serves up their food, and then it’s time to wrangle up Evie and get her seated at the table. She’s on a booster seat but she’s not in a separate chair now, and it’s the first time they’ve ever sat like this, as a family together.

“I have to admit,” Louis says as he takes a bite of his salmon. “I’m sort of glad Leemo noticed I was madly in love with you. He kicked the sense into me to apologize to you.” He laughs and dodges a handful of rice pilaf that Evie is excitedly trying to offer to Pig – the grains of rice fly everywhere – and Nick has so much to take in from that one little sentence that he stops, his fork midway to his mouth.

 _In love_? And _Liam_ noticed?

Louis pays no mind to Nick or his apparent struggle to keep up, and rather just takes to getting Evie to put the food in her own mouth rather than offering it to Pig. When he looks back at Nick, he’s managed to compose himself slightly. He sets his fork down and leans to his side, where Louis is sat at the head of the table. Grinning, he leans in for a kiss, right there in front of Evie.

She squeals and starts babbling happily in gibberish, and Nick can feel Louis smiling into the kiss. “I love you too, even when you’re bloody annoying,” Nick mumbles into Louis’s mouth. He’s smiling too, and it’s the most perfect moment he could have imagined.

Louis presses back into the kiss just as Evie shrieks again. They think it’s for them, that she’s so happy they’re together, just like before, but then she shouts: “No, Pig! No! Bad doggy!”

Nick reluctantly pulls out of the kiss to figure out what’s happening. Evie, in an effort to share her food, had apparently decided to offer her entire plate to Pig, who now happily has it in her mouth. She’s trotting away with it, a nice little trail of food left along the floor, just as both Louis and Nick rush over to take it from her. Nick succeeds, but now there’s food everywhere and Evie looks on the verge of tears.

“It’s alright, Eves, we’ll get you some more,” Louis says. “This is why we can’t share with the dog, okay? Pig gets her own food.”

Evie huffs and crosses her arms. “How’s this, darling?” Nick offers as he walks back into the dining area. “Next time you’re coming over for dinner, I’ll wait and let you feed Pig instead. How does that sound?”

She looks hesitant as she glances at Pig, Nick, and then to her father before she nods. “Okay,” she mumbles. “Hungry.”

Evie’s making little grabby hands at the empty and slobbery plate Nick holds in his hand, and he says, “Just one second, love. I’ll get you some more.”

Louis sits down next to Evie and offers her some of his green beans in the meantime – mostly so he won’t have to eat them, which Nick knows full well but chooses not to comment on – and he chops up some more food for her.

And he never imagined himself as a father, not really, but if this is what it feels like, then he likes it. He knows he can do it.

What’s more is he _wants_ to do it. With Louis.

The problem is just going to be holding out until it’s the right time to bring it up.


End file.
